Idea IS the format

The kitchen garden's pretty much planted. Over on the left there I've got four rows of spinach, eighteen sprouting broccoli plants (rescued from B&Q's bargain bin for the princely sum of 50p) and three rows of Swiss chard. Next along is a few rows of carrots at the back, and some beetroot at the front. The big middle berth has now fewer than five varieties of lettuce at the back behind three rows of onions, then further along we've got radishes, pak choi and spring onions.

I've used an assortment of garden netting and permeable mesh to provide the necessary protection while the seeds germinate. Between that, a healthy sprinkling of chilli powder and a load of bamboo canes poking out of the ground I can hopefully persuade the local cats to go shit on somebody else's parade. If not, I'm going to get me an air rifle and spend the whole of next weekend camped up in the bedroom with a hip flask and half a dozen scotch eggs, in the hope that I can plant a couple of warning shots on the backside of anything foolish enough to fuck with my greens.

Last year what did for me wasn't feline - it was the sycamore overhead and that nasty looking stuff you can see growing over the other side of the wall. It took a matter of weeks for last year's patch to be overrun, so I'm very conscious that I need to get out there once a week and weed, come wind, rain or shine. I'm also told the sycamore is due to come down pretty soon, and I might hop over the wall and deal with that other stuff myself. If it gets away from me this year I don't think my dear old dad will ever let me forget it.

Big thanks to Canadian Mike, who came over on Saturday and gave me some very timely tips, along with a fair bit of graft - I was happy to be able to offer him the pick of a pretty tasty barbie we rolled out on Saturday night. A shout must also go out to Gordon and Matt, the copywriters, for encouraging me to keep my multimedia gardening experience on air. And congratulations to Carlos - a fellow vegeculturalist - for whom nature's bounty has just extended to a second sprog.

Labels: garden